The Way For You To Grab A New iPhone And Make Your Date Hate You In One Simple Step

Indeed, anyone can get a brand-new apple iphone and make your date hate you in one easy step. Here’s how…

There is the expression that change is an unavoidable part of living (and also In N Out Burger) and the most effective way we are able to accept change is always to adapt to it.

For that reason it’s with a wistful heart that I say goodbye to my iPhone.

My iPhone 2G!!

Yup, it’s a fact. Following nearly three years it at long last kicked the bucket on me after the twelfth drop. Saturday evening in the parking area at Carlees Bar in Borrego Springs, California (brief promo so I can get that beer comped which I skipped out on). I accidentally drop kicked it into the Lexus sport utility vehicle beside me (oops) after which it landed on the 30-year old asphalt. You know, the type of asphalt Godzilla would use to file his nails.

Ouch.

No biggie I figured. This phone had been indestructable. I’ve dropped it numerous times before that…and even straight down a flight of stairs…

But on this occasion Kenneth (ME!) was not so lucky.

I picked up my phone, went into the bar, ordered that (free?) beer and started sending text messages and Twittering like I usually do (not to mention I didn’t see any hot ladies to deflect my typically short attention span).

All seemed to be well then it happened: My iPhone started behaving funky…display going blank and after that coming back on and dropping signal.

Oh no.

You know, the type of ‘oh no’ you mutter in that quiet, halted tone essentially to yourself whenever you recognize you’ve truly blown it. The ‘cold shot up your back sensation.

“C’mon….no. Damn. Turn back on. No no no no…..”

Then my iphone came back on.

Ok…whew…that was close! It then produced a strange buzzing noise, and then started to heat up…quickly.

It then shut off.

It was after that when I realized I had at long last broke my iphone. During my hurry while in the darn parking lot to primp and preen prior to walking inside the bar (which usually for a man involves cleaning his nasal area of unknown ‘objects’ and also
placing breath mints in his pocket) I fumbled my iphone into permanent oblivion.

Unsurprisingly, despite the fact that I know http://kennethholland.com/446/how-to-set-up-a-blog-for-cash-and-fun/, I don’t know how to hold on to my iphone .

An unfortunate point in time to be certain. However it was Saturday evening and I wasn’t gonna let this misfortune ruin my evening. And now I had the ideal excuse to obtain the new iPhone 4!

See? Fantastic! It all works out in the end.

Then it hit me…

I don’t have a phone.

I cannot place a phone call.

I cannot send a text message.

I cannot check my email.

I cannot update my Twitter.

I cannot post on Facebook.

Disaster.

So what can I do NOW???

I needed to get myself together and quick. I had a ‘date’ of sorts so I needed to overlook this dreadful turn of events and get my mind back in the game. Realizing that (most?) women despise us men that love our gizmos I had to get my ‘I don’t need a cell phone because I’m here with you baby’ game face on and quick.

Yeah right.

I lasted about 35 minutes with her. The drops of perspiration started to collect upon my forehead and my hands started to twitch. “Where’s the phone dude?” my hands were asking me. The conversation was spinning in my head…”It’s in the car. We don’t need the iphone right now.”

“B . S .!!” I could hear my hands scream at me.

“Is there a problem?”

My date. I looked up. Perplexed. “Was she speaking to me?”, I asked myself.

‘You appear pale Ken,’ she stated flatly. It’s almost like she knew what was going to spill out of my mouth after that.

Frickin’ women are so darn intuitive.

I attempted to fake it…

“I’m a little bummed. I dropped and broke my iPhone”, I said with a calculated tone. “I needed to make a pretty important phone call and I’m a little angry at myself. But…you know, I’ll just need to purchase a new iphone after I go back home. It was time for a new one anyway.”

“Okay! I did it!” I assured myself. I managed to make it seem like it’s not a big deal and now we could have a enjoyable evening together with each other.

Then she baited me. And that was it.

“Well fine!! You’re on that cell phone continuously, sometimes I question if you remember that I’m actually here…you and this ‘Social dating’ fantasy-land stuff!” she barked.

I couldn’t contain myself.

“Facebook isn’t for dating!”, I exclaimed. “And neither is Twitter. And they’re going to become the new email…you know…how folks will talk…it’s how everyone will connect to each other…it’s social media…it’s…it’s…damn! I need my iphone…let me try my cell phone again…I really need to check my Gmail! Maybe it’ll work this time!!!!”

My speech quivered in equal parts desperation and indignation. After all, MY phone was busted! That ought to trump any plans until this catastrophe is fixed.

Right?

“Freak”, she muttered to me while shaking her head. She almost looked like she felt sorry for my situation and wanted to hug me…but that had been my man-ego thinking.

“Where are you going?”, I questioned. I understood darn well exactly where she was heading. Somewhere where I, Twitter and Facebook wasn’t.

“Good luck with that search honey”, I said to myself while at the same moment knowing that I had no iPhone, as well as no date.

So off I went back to Carlees to get a beer and pay Tony the bartender for that one I don’t think I’m comped on.

I’m sure I would know somebody there with at least a Blackberry I could borrow.